Love, what is love? I never understand. Someone teach me how to love. But he came with fall. So it's not love anymore. It's fall in love. It's beautiful, magical, maddening, and everything just so perfect. But everything that fall just get broken right? When you get fall in love, it's happy on the first but hurt at the end. How sad, how tragic.
I never understand how love work on life. How did you know when he's the right one? Feel change, everything can change. Because time change everything. Did you ever feel like you like him, you have something for him, but you can't make sure yourself it's love or just crush. It's weird. Life is like a mysery puzzle that never be done. Why life gives me so much question but not all those question have an answer. We just a chess game. But sometimes god change the rules every second you live. And love? It's just a ruthless game unless you play it good and right. But there's never be right. Because all we do is wrong fot get the right. In a time, you can love someone really deep. You just take a special place for him in your heart. Then, for the other time, you just can't love someone that really deep like before. You said a lie. You said you love him. What a life. It's suck. You play with your own rules but you're lost. You know you have the chance to be lucky, but you'll never meet the chance because you're waiting. God want you to move. Not just waiting in one way. Because if you waiting, you don't know the answer while you just stay. Life must go on and keep movinh on.
By the way, "move on". Everybody know that words. Everybody can move on. But not everybody can "let it go". Let it go means you already move on and you can walk away from your past. Do you ever thinking? How this life without love? I can't imagine. But the fact on me now is, there's a love but my world feel empty. I shouldn't feel that way. I found my lamp, but not really help me. Because my darkness is too dark. My light and my lamp not really shining. What should i do god? The first time i took this step, i know this is the best. But now i just can't make sure. It's like from 100% to 50%. Everyone look to mu face and they know i'm happy. But once they look into my eyes, they'll know how hurt i'm. How sad this life,huh?
I want fall for someone that i truly love. Everybody does. But then i don't ready too jump than fall. I'm afraid to jump. Because i'm not ready if there's no one who will catch me. I want to fall when there's someone who ready to catch me. I know there's a devil inside of me. And an angel too. It's paralyzed. I'm trap by my own feeling. Did you ever feel that way? Everybody laughing but you cry. Everybody walk and you just stay, can't move. Everybody happy and you sad. How rude this devil? This devil tell me to said yes. But now this devil tell me to run. My heart said 'Okay'. But my logic still working. It's weird. Why my mind and my heart not in the same way?
Or it's just me who too tired to stay? Or it's just me who too labile to make decision? I don't even know. I'm paralyzed. I'm trap on my own box. God, give me a little shine to through my dark way. Give me an answer to all my questions. That's all i want for now.
0 comments:
Post a Comment