5 Bulan

Never thought that this will last for more than just 4 month as always.

But i always know that he will be different.
5 Bulan sudah aku berada dalam lika-liku hubungan. upside downs. When people said that i was too fast, he's too forcing me, or we were just young, not thinking clear throughtout all the way. and here we are. Still holding on to each other.

But this is already the 5th month of ours.
i am happy.
but i also see alot of things in this between.
Him with all of the clumsy things and not-too sweet-caring romantic way that always makes me happy. His sometimes a little gesture that i love. His face that i always look up to and smile, feel the blessed that i found him.
i also see the true colours of us. How he thinking about small details, how he manage his time and his closest friend, how he truly treated me, and how he really have that cold-so not caring blood in his.

In this 5 month i realized, that the more i'm being with someone, the more i should just give more understanding to him, the one that matters to me.
I realized that it's not always about me and try to spoil me. It's about have each other back, apologies when you do a bad thing to each other, about to keep silent and listen, about helping each other, support, trying to always be patient, trying to shut the hell up altho what i really want is scream to his face.

But my angry, sad, pissed off, and all of the sudden emotions that always comes up after what he did, a little thing he doesn't really realized it. It's all become useless. I always turn down my whole negative emotions to him. i don't even know why

if you know me, you will know how moody i am with all of those swing mood and my power to scream out my whole emotions.
but with him. it's just all die.

LOL

what the fuck is happen to me